Learning from the Marauders
by distorted prep queen
Summary: During a day out with his father, godfather, and 'uncle', Harry gets a lecture about the important things in life from the infamous Marauders. And that can only mean trouble. Oneshot


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything…sad ain't it?**

**Well, I hope I was able to put this under the right filters and that all of you will enjoy! Ü**

**Learning From the Marauders**

By: Marauders-rocks-my-socks Pairing included: JPLE 

_**Summary: During a day out with his godfather, 'uncle', and dad, Harry gets a lecture about the important things in life from the infamous Marauders. **_

_**P.S. the ΜĄūŘǻŰĐểŗŚ rock!**_

"Now, you're sure about this?" a reluctant redhead asked as she continued to double check all of the items in the magically enlarged baby bag.

"Yes, Lily." Answered her husband, a handsome young man of 19 as well as a father to the small baby boy he had just laid in the stroller. "C'mon now, your friends are on their way here already, so just go back upstairs and finish getting ready whatever it is you girls will need later."

It had been already two years since their days in Hogwarts, and now James and Lily were already married as well as parents to their eight month old son, Harry. Being the gentleman he was, James decided that Lily was in need of a good break from taking care of the house, himself, and Harry as soon as possible. So he decided to call his mates for a day out while he left his wife with her friends to relax and do whatever they wanted for the day.

A sudden 'pop' and the repeated knocks on the front door soon signaled the presence of two other Marauders.

"Hello everyone!" greeted Sirius Black loudly before hugging his hold chum and being the charmer, kissed the back of Lily's hand.

"So are we all ready?" Remus asked before greeting everyone politely.

"Oh, Mummy will miss you so much! Now remember to be good and don't listen to a thing Uncle Sirius will say 'cause it'll only get you in trouble-"

"Hey! I resent that!" came a scream in the background.

"-listen to Uncle Remus the most since he's the most sensible-"

"Remus! Hey, _I_ can be sensible too you know! I just **choose** _not to be_!" Sirius huffed then poked out his tongue and pouted.

"Nice. How mature, Padfoot."

"Hey what about me?" demanded James, "I'm his dad you know! He should also listen to me!"

Lily rolled her eyes thinking that some things never do change. Sighing, she looked once more into the stroller, softly caressing the already wildly growing tufts of jet black hair and tugging on the outstretched fists. "Seeing as how your dad won't back down, don't forget to also listen to him, okay? Remember Mummy loves you, Harry." Picking him up gently, she hugged him tightly as well, letting him play for a while with her auburn hair.

"I think we better go already" James decided as he and the other two- Sirius was still sulking a bit with Remus laughing silently- followed him. Slowly taking Harry and laying him back down, he took the bag Lily handed him, before giving her a peck.

"Bye, Honey! Don't worry, Harry and I will see you in a couple of hours!"

"Now that there aren't any more ladies here, as your godfather as well as practically your uncle, I have taken it as my responsibility to educate you, Harry, on things you will need when you grow older." Announced Sirius in the most serious voice he could possibly muster, as he took over pushing the trolley.

They had already been gone for an hour and were now strolling in a muggle park not that far from Godric's Hollow.

"What on earth could you possibly educate Harry about, Padfoot?" Remus asked, as he and James both sported amused smiles on their faces

Looking indignant, he brushed off the question and look down once more at his godchild whose head was now tilted in curiosity.

"Now, there are three things important in this world, be it you're a muggle or a wizard: women, friends, and pranks- note, _not in that particular order._ Now remember this, Harry, for I promise on Snivillus' greasy head that you _will_ need these once you get in Hogwarts. I can tell you now that if it hadn't been for those three things, I would've never had survived those 7 years there."

Sirius then started going on about how important it was for him to remember everything he was telling him since no one else will- not even wondering how an infant could actually understand a thing he was saying. His companions however didn't seem to be even thinking about reminding him, laughing to themselves as they watched other people who were there backing off- I mean who wouldn't when a guy's actually talking to a baby expecting it to comprehend.

"Now for the first thing I mentioned Harry: women. Now many people think that there's a lot to know about women, but let me tell you, after _years_ of being around and with them, your dad and us have it to a simple fine art!" he finished off with a suggestive wriggle of his eyebrows before continuing in a low whispering voice. "Now before your dad was hooked onto your mum, we were some group, always having a new 'flavor of the week' as we liked to call them, and girls just throwing themselves at our feet!"

Using his fingers, he then continued to explain further the subject. "Now the main thing to think about is what kind of woman are you looking for. You see, Harry, there are many kinds of women, like there are many flavors of ice cream. You know, there's strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, and even unusual ones like mint chocolate chip or strawberry shortcake. Like those, there're the sluts- ones that are easy to get and easy to get rid off-, the feisty ones- may seem hard to crack but eventually give in-, the prudes- the ones who just prefer to work- , and of course the mixtures like your mum. Now she was a tough one, let me tell you, had your dad over there like a lost puppy-"

"_Was not_!"

"Was too!" Sirius countered in a sing-song voice. "Anyway, she's part feisty, prude- well actually before, _if you get my drift_-"

"Padfoot, I don't want you corrupting my child's mind this early!" James shouted though a smile graced his face.

"Hey, I'm already doing you a favor here, mate, so stop disturbing the learning process! So, where was I again before I was _so rudely _interrupted? Oh yeah, the kinds of women! Anyway, so after choosing what kind, you have to pick among the group. And of course you being one of the heirs to the Marauders, it's only right for you to pick **the best and nothing less!**"

"Now, there we have to agree with you Padfoot!"

"Aye!"

"See? So, step three is to turn on that charm, but don't worry, for us it just comes naturally!" Sirius added. As if demonstrating, he bent over to young Harry and pointed to a blonde sitting on a bench, so obviously pretending to be reading the novel in her hands when just a few seconds ago, was watching the three men closely. "Watch and learn." Winking slightly to the infant, Sirius started maneuvering the stroller closer to the girl, making her look up, her face tinted red.

"Hey" Padfoot said breezily before flashing a smile, making her giggle.

"H-hi!"

Striding away, he once more squatted down to his godchild. "Now did you see that? The trick is to act indifferent- you don't know that word do you?"

His question was only answered by a slight chuckle and squeal from Harry.

"Sorry, indifferent means as if you don't care." Looking down once more, the took the slight tilting of the head as a 'yes'. "Anyway, just act that way at the same time interested. Another name for that is flirting, and as you get older you'll get the hang of it like we did. I'm sure you'll get enough practice. So now once she starts doing the same thing or starts to act all different, you'll know that it's time to ask her out. Generally, we Marauders have a 'maximum of three weeks' rule for all relationships, but as for me, I've never gotten past 2 weeks- but of course James was a lot different. Now if you're gonna ask me how will you know if she's _'the one'_ and when to hold on or keep going after the same girl, that you have to ask you Dad over there." Sirius jerked his thumb to James who was talking to Remus, still lagging behind them talking. "As for me, I'm a certified bachelor!"

"Hey Padfoot, are you still teaching Harry about women?" Moony shouted as both started jogging to catch up.

"Yeah actually, just finished. I was just going to start explaining about friends."

"Nice, now that's something we're both willing to share about."

"So, friends, that has got to be the **most** important of all three. True friends will be there for you thick and thin, rain or shine, the good and bad times, through all the laught-"

"Sirius, I think we all get it." James said sarcastically, now getting control of the stroller.

"Er, well let's start. Now the three of us together with Peter first met each other in our first train ride to Hogwarts before our first year. Now, if you're as lucky as we were, you'll also meet people on the Hogwarts Express. At first, our friendship was based on all of our interests on pulling pranks, but then of course soon we it became much deeper than that. We were all thick as thieves, the teachers all getting mad at us for our ingenious pranks, anyway, I can't say all of it now, but let me tell you, there were a lot of things that came of our friendship. So when you get friends, maybe you would continue the Marauder legacy, that is if you haven't inherited Lilykins' 'follow the rules' philosophy."

"Ah, I remember all the pranks that we played, especially those on old Snape." James reminisced fondly, thinking how fun it had been hexing, pulling down the pants, and many more of the Slytherin git.

"Oh yeah, remember the time when we charmed all the Slytherins so that whenever they talked, everything rhymed."

The three old friends looked at each other briefly before bursting out in a raucous laughter.

"Oh, oh, the time when we got Malfoy into a pink tutu, singing something about fairies and unicorns for a whole day! Merlin, I'm telling you, even Slytherins were giggling."

Their snickers, even louder than before, were quickly making several heads turn. Remus, always the most mature, was the first to notice this and was slowly recovering. Seeing that the other two were in no hurry to do the same, he nudged each sharply, getting the desired results.

"**_Hey!_** Moony, why did you…_oh_…." Composing themselves James and Sirius cleared their throats loudly, thankful that the people have started to go back to what they've been doing before. "So, erm, we're done with friends, and seeing as how we've already started, let's go on to pranks."

The baby boy looked up curiously, a somewhat amused smile on his angelic face as he watched his dad and 'uncles' stop, take a deep intake of breath, look even more serious than ever, shaking their head solemnly, a glazed looks upon their eyes. Any passerby could've already seen the question in his deep green eyes asking _'what's up with them?'_

As soon as it had happened, the three instantly went back into their casual and playful demeanor.

"Pranking, Harry, was a trademark for us Marauders. Something that made people instantly think of us once they had smelt a dungbomb, Snivillus hanging upside down with his pants down, or something happening to the Slytherin house." James explained, not remembering that he was talking to his eight month old son.

"Your dad's right, Harry." Remus confirmed, the Marauder side of him shining through. "It wasn't only for our enjoyment, though that was the initial idea. It also entertained majority of the school as well as making the Gryffindor house stand out even more."

"I bet the Slytherins didn't think of our jokes in that way though. Now as the first generation of Marauders, though Peter isn't here though, it is our duty to make sure that our legacy of pulling of ingenious pranks is continued by our children. So, we will give you the step by step procedure of making the kind of pranks that we did, which were safe, but not so much for our targets, depending of course who they were."

"Step one: choosing a target" James said, unusually somber. "Now our usual victims were those of the Slytherin house, which I am sure you will not be part of. We had reasons for this though: one, they have always been the rival of the Gryffindor house; two, they're all really pretty insufferable gits; three, it's so fun to trick them. Now sometimes we also pranked those from other houses, but that's only because they were really getting to us."

"After that is step two: brainstorming and picking. Here depending on your purpose, you have to start thinking about what would either tick the person/people off or make they pay for what they've done to you. So it's best to get your friends together and just start thinking about possible ideas and picking out at the most the top five."

"And that brings us to step three: refining, researching- if needed-, and voting- if needed. Since you have at the most five ideas, you have to start working out a few of the details. Now if you need a few spells or potions to make it work, it'd be best to start researching. If you can't get whatever you need, cross out that idea and check the others. So you keep doing this until you have narrowed it down. If there's a case when there's more than one left, then just vote on it."

"Step four: preparations. Here you'll practice spells and start making potions. If you plan on doing it on a specific place that you can fix up ahead of time, do it. Just go over the prank and check for any flaws, and if there is, fix immediately."

"Step five is our favourite: the actual pranking and watching. Here you get to see how everything all pays off. Now is when you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor." Sirius ended, smiling slightly remembering all the times they had sat in the Great Hall watching how their pranks on the Slytherins have worked out. "So, you think you got all of that?"

After waiting for a few more minutes with not even a squeak or giggle in reply, the three males looked down, finding the younger Potter sleeping soundly, thumb secured within his mouth, his favourite stuffed snitch tightly in his fist.

"So, how did your day go?"

"Fine, we spent the day relaxing in this spa Arabella brought us to." Lily replied as she let out a sigh. Taking her sleeping son, she gently laid him back onto his crib, softly fixing his hair. "How about you? How was your '_all men's_' day?" she teased with a gentle nudge.

"It was…very educational…" James replied with a large smile.

"_Educational?_ I never knew a day with Sirius Black could be counted as educational in the least."

"You'd be surprised! It was actually him who did most of the teaching to Harry."

"Wait, wait, you let _Sirius_ teach **Harry**!" the redhead asked hurriedly. "_What exactly_ did he teach?" she asked, a dangerous edge on her voice.

"Nothing much. Hey, I'm tired, let's go to bed already."

Narrowing her almond-shaped emerald eyes on her husband, she stared at him intently before shaking her head in exasperation. "Nevermind. Let's go"

Thanking whomever was listening to his prayers, James encircled Lily's shoulders with an arm, steering them into their bedroom for a well deserved night's rest.


End file.
